Awwww, I was enjoying that rest, really? 5 more minutes…
“Deep breathing exercise, inhale through the nose, exhale
through the nose, all the time through the throat”, I’ve heard this dialogue so
many times I reckon I could take the class, what’s next. Breathing, right.
… Wow are my lungs really this big… fill up, more up….
Hold... exhale…… inhale……… exhale……
Wow, feeling better already, can I go if I’m feeling good
now?
Parahastasna… what is with the names… Ok forward bend…
really should not have had that ‘quite bite to eat’, think I might actually be
seeing that again… Yip, little bit sick in my mouth… lovely. Keep smiling, look
serious, don’t let anyone know…
Awkward pose, you got that one right. I WILL get on my big toes, I will, I will… UP
higher? are you kidding me,? 65kgs (give or take) is not going to balance on my
big toe!
3rd part, squeeze knees together, s-l-o-w-l-y
come down to the count of 10, hole it an inch above your ankles, arrrggghhhh,
pain…. Hold it….Quick teachers not looking, get those hips down and rest on
your calves just for a second, damn, he caught me now he’s looking at me and
telling me off, lost face, well all ego out the window now.
Water break. Just stare at self in mirror, try and keep
focus, this is your time, no one else in the room matter, focus on breath, …
Those girls leggings are great though I wonder where she got them… damn it!
Standing head to knee.
Should be called, standing on one leg.
Often this in itself is a challenge. Head to knee? Hmmm, highly unlikely
this side of 40.
Standing on one leg, don’t fall out here, don’t fall out
here, ankles give out, fall to side. Smile at yourself in mirror, let it go, do
not get annoyed with yourself this will not help, repeat mantra to self until
you believe it. Ok… getting “straight
back in”. Leg locked, thigh parallel to floor, hands in grip, don’t forget the
grip, “When ready, kick out” – Come on Cath Lyden, kick, don’t wobble, keep
focused, come on, hamstring, release, come on hamstring, why do you hate me?
What have I ever done to you? Ohh, so your going to hold 20 years of pounding
the streets running, excessive cycling and body building against me? Ohh, you
are – Give up, foot back to it’s place enter child like strop.
Other side. Whatever! Not doing anything. Will just hold leg in grip and chill out for
this one. Hmmm…this is nice… I wish life was as simple as this at times… ohh
I’m balancing on one leg fine, no wobble… that’s never happened before… Wait, thigh
you are parallel, heel you are kicking
out, hamstring, you are straight, what is this!? Is this me or am I having an out of body
experience? I am actually holding the posture beautifully! Enter stage right
the little life lesson voice. Lesson #1 When you give up and let go, the thing
you have been trying so hard to make happen, happens.
Smile.
Standing bow, my favourite. Come on this is your time to
shine… ego be quiet, this is just about me and my own practice, focus, breath…
but seriously, wait till you see how good this posture is…shhhhhhh…
Arm up, grab that foot from behind, hips square, knees
together, deep breathe… Kick – Yeah! Feel that power from the leg kick that
hand away, kick, kick, focus, breath, feeling the arch… wait, don’t try too
hard you’ll fall out of it, back off, don’t try. Keep that hip down! Reach forward, reach,
there it is that beautiful standing bow, there it is… breathe, hold, keep
kicking, smile congratulate yourself that there is at least one posture you don’t
feel inadequate in. Crap, fell out. Life
lesson #2 don’t get complacent, when you think you’ve made it you’ll fall.
Thanks God, cheers.
OK, other side, grab foot from behind, knees.. blah blah
blah… I’m ready, kick…. There I am slowly, I’m getting there… I’m holding… no
teacher do not go and help the newbie… nope don’t tell them to do back to the
start of the posture, don’t hold us here longer than we have to… breath… kick…
reach… Seriously, the newbie is never going to get the grip, concentrate on us
and focus on them next time… DYING HERE!!!!
“ and change” – phew… made it. Now too knackered to do the second
set. Lesson #3 Don’t burn out –
Seriously God, I get it.
Take a half turn to face the windows… Standing separate leg
stretching, deep breath, one big step to your right. Arms out, lock the knees, Spine straight,
lead with the forehead rotate at the hips.
Should not have positioned my mat so near to the person in front, now
practically got my face up their ass, don’t flinch, don’t let anyone see the
awkwardness, just keep the head up, look like you are really trying to keep
that arch in your back when really your just trying to avoid sniffing that mans
butt. Go slowly so he gets to the ground first, at least it will look like you
are just trying to really control your practice, that’s it loads of control and
all about alignment, blag blag blag… why I’m being pretentious? This is the one place I shouldn’t be. And
come back out…
Savasana – BEST TIME!!!! WOOOooooo!!! Now THIS should be
called Bikram party time.
Be still, focus on your breath, don’t move… no little bead
of sweat I will not wipe you away, nope, I won’t, I am in control, you are not,
nope, little bead of sweat dripping down into my eye burning my retina, I will
not wipe you I will… Got you, you little git! Ha ha ha #fail. Lesson #4
although we should ignore the annoyances in our life, sometimes it’s good to
give them a good back hander. Hmmmm, not sure that one was from God.
Second set of Wind removing. What?!?! Instructor got it
wrong… or maybe… yip… I fell asleep during savasana.
Half Locust pose, Face down, arms under stomach, hips into
mat, relax left leg, lift the right leg. Digestive system gurgles… NOoooooo Do
not fart, do not fart, you can do this, hold it in. “And release” - Farted.
MORTIFIED. It’s ok, noone
noticed… you are wearing the right gear, looking focused, haven’t flinched,
noone will think it’s you, they will definitely think it’s that guy next to
you… well in that case.. left leg up…
Floor Bow – hate this so much... what injury/illness can I
concoct in my head which means I can sit this out with my integrity still in
tact.. … come on brain you are usually brilliant at finding excuses.. come one…
ohh right, now you let me down.. I’ll remember that…
Grab the feet just above the ankles, hips down, deep breath,
kick…. Kick…. Seriously why won’t my knees actually move more than an inch off
the floor? Come on, come on… More up “One day you’ll see your feet over your
head” – WHAT?!?!?!?!? Feel like getting up, walking over the teacher and
shouting – “go on then – You do it!” Will refrain.
Cannot even see myself in the mirror in front of me never
mind feet over my head! Inadequate feeling gets overwhelming, Give up, sit next
one out. Lesson #5 It’s often not our
physical capabilities that hold us back but our attitude towards progress and
success. Go away annoying smug voice.
Last breathing exercise.
Sit up, face the mirror. Wow I look like crap. Mascara half way down
face, red faced, hair sweaty, skin sweaty, where did that bulge of fat come
from? Quick, adjust clothing to hide it.
How can anyone fancy this mess I see before me? Have sneaky look around class
while should be focusing on self – We are all sweaty, all looking crappy, all
got lumps and bumps, all trying to hide. And there is a fantastic element of
vulnerability to it. Lesson #6 When all is wiped away, make up off, standing there
in nothing more than our underwear we are just human beings, all the same, all
getting by. And it’s fantastic. Accept, Breath
and rest… J
“Naked I came out of my mothers womb and naked I shall
return” Job 1:21
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