Short Sabbatical Learnings

I am the luckiest person in the world right now. I have 3 months off of life to hang out in California and to figure out what’s next.Not many people get such a wonderful opportunity.

I have learnt a few things about life while I have been here and I thought I’d share them.

1)      Being still is hard! While lying on a beach day in day out sounds like the dream (and it is in sooo many ways) I challenge you to do it.  To be still and not move, not think, not fuss, not make plans for the future. To just be still and see what happens. How many of you will actually take me up on that challenge, or will you just keep reading to distract yourself from it? Being still challenges us to consider ourselves. To address the labels we put on ourselves and all the identity we give ourselves as doers. When we are still and not doing our job, or being a mum or planning the next project or venture, we are faced with just us. A notion the vast majority of us would run from. In fact just reading it made you nervous. When we are still, our critical voice kicks in – you are being lazy! Get up do something! Contribute! Stop doing nothing! Staying still in these moments and letting these accusations pass by leads you to a place of peace and place of rest. It’s beautiful. But it’s not an easy place to find. From this place of rest and peace  you then move. You move in a direction you want to go motivated by nothing else but your internal motivation, your human spirit. Not external pressures, or fear or status. Being still is not ‘lucky’ or ‘easy’ it is hard but the reward is great.I feel I will return to the UK with a renewed sense of direction and satisfaction knowing I am coming back to embark on what I know I want to do. 

2)      Life is life everywhere,  I hope you know this by now, but ultimately wherever you are in life, you take yourself with you.  So you better fall in love with who you are cause you’ve got them for a good 60+ years. You cannot escape or run from you. You can busy yourself trying, you can drink, get addicted, get involved in lots, attached yourself to every label and every object you like, but save yourself the bother ‘cause it doesn’t work. Fall in love with yourself! And I mean passionately and over the top in love!  Love your idiosyncrasies, your faults, your body, your history, your failings, your achievements, your house, your income, your half finished projects and your mind. ALL of it, make your peace with yourself cause you will not find it anywhere outside of yourself. Ever. I love hanging out with me. Most days. :) 

3)      Space makes you more appreciative. The USA is known for being affluent. And it is in so many ways. ‘everything is bigger and better’ and there is SO much about this place that I love! But with everything there is positive and negative. I miss being able to cross the street with ease, traffic signals are so hard to understand here, and J walking is illegal. I miss reaching into my purse and seeing the colours in the variety of notes we have. All ‘bills’ look the same here.  I miss the seasons! (I know I’m sorry but I do!) every day is sunny. Every. Single.  Day! And I am a sun worshipper but even for me a day of rain would bring the comfort of home right now. I miss being able to speak without having to repeat myself. I miss the character of town centres instead of man made shopping plazas. I miss free medical care!  I miss the British humour! I love it here, I really do, but it has reminded me of what is good ‘back home’ and that is always good in a world when we become complacent with how blessed we are. So I am glad that being taken away from my 'home' has reminded me of what I am so incredibly blessed to have and am even more thankful. 

I am SO thankful for this time out. I love the lessons we learn about life when we slow down and take time out. When did you last do the same? But you're right... you're probably too busy to do that... 

IN your anger...

Getting angry is positive (What you do with it might not be)  

You all know about my health issues. I won’t bore you with that… It’s been good to be on my arse for a few years, it’s from rock bottom that we grow right? I learnt early on in my healing that love, acceptance, compassion and forgiveness are all parts of healing. It has been excellent for me to do yoga and learn the essence of love again. It’s been a good foundation to build from.. But in the last few months I’ve seen a shift in my healing. Once we detox and come back to basics it’s there that we start to build, and building requires strength. And this is where I am at... 

STRENGTH is one of my three words that I have spoken over this year (fun and happiness are the other two!)

As a fitness fanatic I looked up the definition of strength training – “The ability to withstand/resist an opposing force”. And this is what this year is about in body and mind and spirit.

Physically I am cycling more and my amazing PT James is helping me train for Ninja warrior!

Spiritually am I learning to resist temptation and the negative accusations of the enemy

Mentally I am learning to hold my ground and not let my mind get the better of me.

Emotionally, now this is where my challenge is. Having spent a few years learning about loving others, kindness, compassion and letting things go I am challenged with the – but when are those things detrimental to my own health? When loving someone means being treated like crap because “that person's broken too”, when kindness is letting someone else have their selfish ways and not challenging them on it.  When compassion turns to sympathy and holding someone up when they should be learning to do that for themselves. Where is the ‘balance’?

Today I am angry about a situation that has been bothering me for a while. Since Jan I have been at yoga and trying to ‘let it go’.  I’ve been trying to forgive and trying to see things from the other person’s perspective, but today I didn’t go to yoga, I got angry and let it out. (** Disclaimer - I was by myself and no one was harmed in the making of this blog). I shouted and boxed and let out my frustrations and anger. I voiced my grievance and shared the injustice of it all and it felt goooooooddddd.

Afterwards I began to feel guilty about being so angry but then challenged myself on it. Is it bad to get angry?

No

“IN your anger do not sin”. Jesus himself got angry and threw tables around a market place. He was upset at the injustice of a situation and used His anger to put it right.

Anger motivates us to take action.

My anger is my emotions way of saying – THIS IS NOT OKAY! And it felt great to acknowledge it and stop making excuses for other people’s behaviour.  I’ve been wronged. And usually I’d find all the reasons that this is MY fault, and today, I’ve done something radical - I accepted that while I may have had a part to play in this injustice, it isn’t all my fault. The other person was wrong. Blaming others is something I very rarely do, I'm too good at blaming myself. But today, I admitted, this person was in the wrong. 

In my emotional strength training I am learning to listen to my emotions and acknowledge them. This is the first step.  Suppressing them, or trying to move onto acceptance too soon can hinder or rush the process.

As humans we hate discomfort and we often try and move too quickly through the healing process to ‘get better’ again. Today I accept that I am angry.  And while I do not want to hold onto it, I acknowledge it’s part in telling me what is and is not okay, and when the anger subsides, acceptance, forgiveness and love will come as they should, but today, I accept that I am at the anger stage.

I am not condoning my actions in this place. My anger does not make it okay to lash out at people and be horrible. My anger does not give me a right to throw my weight around and dominate situations. But in order to manage my anger well, I need to go to a quiet place, meet my anger, listen to it and let it out in a healthy way.

Feeling angry is healthy, acknowledging early is what counts.

Lord, help me to acknowledge my anger before it catches up with me and makes me erupt in front of the poor people who have to listen to it and deal with it.  Help me to be more emotionally aware and take action to process the emotion. Forgive me when I act out of anger and hurt those around me. With your help I can. 

Who do you think you are?

Your identity - Who you are is not what you do, you are not a cyclist, a runner, a manager, a mum, a banker, a shop assistant, a drug addict or a VIP. You are NOT what you do. 

But for most people, this bypasses the brain. The ego loves to hold onto all of those titles, if not for our own sake to make ourselves feel great, then for comparison to others in order to exert  our own superiority and inflate our ego some more. The good news is, your ego is not you.  Your ego is your ego. YOU on the other hand, are quite different.

You were made to be compassionate to others, caring to those in need, show kindness to each person. You were made to love the unlovable and rejoice with your enemies.  Don’t believe me… Well its’ true…

You were born to forgive others and be forgiven, to love and be loved, to serve and be served.  You were born to be free to be you, wholly you not a tamed down version or a cheap imitation. Not a mass produced model like every other human being, but a unique master piece created by a great designer. The best.

You were not created to live in a body that you despise, to live in a mind that throws guilt, shame, embarrassment, and grief at you at every given opportunity. Your body is a temple that houses an individually created spirit. That is desperate to fly freely and take your body with it, not to be trapped inside a body, bound, broken, forgotten and life less.

You are an incredible human being… I know you don’t believe me still… and that is because even though you live every day in that flesh of yours, you have been tricked into think that that is you!  The contradictions between what you do and who you are don’t marry up! The habits, the anger, the brokenness, the shame, the confusion, that isn’t you! … Who tricked you into thinking that!?

 YOU lie underneath all of that, deep deep in the soul, that is where you live.  Most people don’t take the time in life to get to know their true self, and instead live each day with a watered down version at best.  Don’t do that. Be clever.  Spend time, digging deep.  Get to know the true you and watch them fly!

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

Psalm 139: 13-14

Do you though?

http://www.alpha.org/try

Psoas and Christmas Digestion

So, it’s that time of year again where for every person health conscious or not, we indulge! We may try not to, but most human beings cannot resist the temptation of Christmas pudding, mince pies and chocolates as you watch the Christmas movie and some of us even go as far as “Sod it I’ll have chocolate for breakfast, it’s Christmas!”

As a Psoas savvy human being I am always aware that this time of year is even more difficult.  If you, like me, have  issues with Psoas it will interfere with your digestion causing more bloatedness, discomfort and quite intense feelings of sluggishness. So as we set ourselves us for the indulgent period what you can do to keep Psoas (and subsequently your digestive system) happy!

Here are just 3 things you can easily implement this Christmas!

1)      It’s still about balance! It’s tempting to get to Christmas and think “Forget it, I can’t be disciplined with my food!” The gloves come off and we think, Sod it, I’ll start again in Jan. Please feel free to do that if you wish, and don’t let me stop you.  However, there is an alternative.  Treat yourself  - decide what is a treat for you this Christmas, is it a mince pie, is it a couple of glasses of wine?  Is it chocolate dessert?  Before the season starts today ask yourself what do I want to TREAT my body with? And stick to it. Depriving yourself isn’t fun, but neither is over indulgence.  Choose what food you want now, so you have clear boundaries in place and you can still enjoy eating tasty food.

2)      Water and lemon – Before you go to bed each night, fill up a large glass of water with a slice or two of lemon (not the one from your gin and tonic!) and place it by your bed. First thing in the morning drink it.  Lemon water cleanses the liver and flushes toxins out of your body rebalancing you digestive system. By drinking lemon water you are nourishing your digestive tract and relaxing and taking away inflammation of the psoas. You are setting yourself up well for the day.

3)      Walk.  No doubt after your Christmas meal you will want to veg out on the couch and fall asleep, and that’s ok, but if you don’t want to feel groggy and low on energy then here is an alternative – walk! By going for a 15 – 30 min stroll after dinner or just before ned that night,  you are aiding the digesting process. Psoas is a major factor in the digestive process as it massages the internal organs  as we move  helping your food digestive more effectively. Keep your psoas moving this Christmas and you will feel less sluggish and bloated.

That’s it! 3 quick things that you can implement easily to keep Psoas happy this Christmas.  

Remember having a healthy Psoas is as much about your emotional life as well as your physical.  Spend time with loved ones this Christmas, laugh, smile, enjoy people’s company even if they drive you mad, you don’t know when they will not be here to drive you mad in the future.

Merry Christmas everyone. Enjoy it.

Cath  x

Fight for me?

What can I do to put this right?

What do I need to do to make this business successful?

I have I missed that I should be doing to make this better?

These are statements that go around my head, and maybe yours too.  A relationship gone wrong, a tough work situation, a good willed act that actually caused more harm than good. We are all constantly trying to do our best but often in doing so, because of our humanity we make mistakes and the things we cherish most in life get damaged in some way.

We busy ourselves trying to put it right, talking to people who we need to make amends with, changing our decision making to be more compassionate or understanding.  We work harder, try more and continually juggle ourselves, other people and our human failings.

WE try.

I have learnt in life that it is when we stop, when we surrender, when we let go of our own efforts that something ‘gives’ and the elements of our lives that hold tension miraculously ease. Ever notice that it is when you step away from the computer that the document finally loads?

It’s against our human instinct to stop, because we think this world is about us and what WE do.  I was reminded this morning of the truth for my life that God is in charge and HE is perfect and knows how to solve, resolve and restore every element of our lives. All WE have to do is let go and let God.

“The LORD will fight for you, you need only be still” Exodus 14:14.

Do you want someone else to fight that battle you are facing today? Do you want a 3^rd party to talk to that person you are at conflict with? Do you want someone else to lighten your workload. Yes? Then God tells us what to do – Be Still.

Today, I challenge you, STOP trying. It’s so hard to do, we are flooded with thoughts of “but if I don’t do something then it won’t happen”  This is a lie.  Be Still and Know that HE is God.  It is only when you see Him working without your efforts,  that you finally KNOW in your heart of heart that He truly IS fighting on your behalf.  Question is will you let Him?

Is the REST history?

Have we lost the art of rest? Is it really becoming history?

True rest is NOT just not going to work one day, it is not simply sleeping, it is not lying on the couch watching endless episodes of the Big Bang theory, and it is not magically imbedded into the time between Friday 5:30pm and Monday 7am. 

Rest it is a state of mind, body and soul being in complete surrender. It’s an amazing feeling – kind of like how you feel on that beach holiday.

But is this feeling or state restricted to those 2 weeks in the Summer?  Well, it certainly wasn't meant to be...

With a world so full of stress, business and ‘things to do’ lists when was the last time you truly rested?  I mean TRULY rested.

“But Cath, I don’t have time, I have kids, I have a busy life, I have lots to do…” Yes, YOU do. But life isn’t just about you. 

During lent I’m trying to observe the Sabbath in its truest form.  Now, that doesn’t mean I have to go to church each Sunday and it doesn’t mean I need to rest because God told me to, that’s religion, let’s stay well clear of that.  I’m observing the Sabbath because I’ve come to know that I was made to rest! If God needed it, I definitely need it.  Are we better than God?

I have come to know that the only way the human body can cope with what I put it through the other 6 days is by giving my mind body and soul a break.  So today, on this glorious sunny day I am not thinking about what I ‘should’ be doing, I am not planning my week ahead or considering the laundry basket or state of my bedroom (all of which, in my eyes need to be addressed IMMEDIATELY).  I am not rushing around, even if that means running after friends, loved ones and family all for a good cause.  I am not cooking, shopping or even going for a walk. I am sitting in the sun resting in the presence of my dad, my Father, My God. Bliss!  I am reminding my soul that it cannot do this life thing by itself, and it was never meant to.  I am resting in the arms of a loving father who made me and knows what I need.  When I relax and give everything to him – the week ahead, the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the planning, the work, the people that need me, I am free to relax and enjoy life in it’s fullest. It is only by placing everything in Gods hands that I can truly let go, rest and be at peace.

I find that when I spend time like this, I birth the best ideas, I find the best way round a problem I’ve been trying to solve all week by my own human strength, I acknowledge that I really don't need to be super Cath every day,  if infact any day and indeed even when I try these things, I fail! Do you?

In short, resting reminds me that I am not in charge, God is. Phew, thank goodness for that… Don't we all want someone to come along and take off the load? Don't we all want someone to save us? Well, I can tell you that He has, we just often don't take him up on his offer.

Today I challenge you to do one of the following:

1)      Do nothing because you ‘should’ ‘could’ or ‘better’.  God is in charge, He wills us to act, so unless He wills you today, unless Henergises you and gives you happiness in your heart to act, then don’t!

2)      Spend 10 minutes lying down, or sitting somewhere in complete silence.  Focus on breathing in for 6 seconds and out for 6 seconds.  Sounds easy!  It’s not.  Your mind will want to tell you everything you should be doing.  Shut that voice up! And just breath. It is only in breathing in that we are able to breath out.

3)      Write down everything you feel you should be doing, need to do or haven’t done.  Put it in an envelope, write God on the front and give your things to do list to God. It is in letting go that we receive

 

... Don't just read it - truly challenge yourself to take up the challenge...  1 2 or 3?
 

None of these things are easy, we are all busy and our mind automatically says “yeah, right! If only that was possible!” Well, it is. Religion is easy – Taking every Sunday off work or going to church every Sunday is easy, but true faith is trusting that God is big enough that if you do nothing today but be with Him, the world will still turn!

Are you religious or faith filled?

 Today I pray for everyone that they would know the truth of this...

 

“Be still and Know that I am God” Psalm 46:10

 

Cath will be leading a session on true surrender today at bechurch who meet every Sunday at Wimbledon YMCA 4-5:30pm . Got time to join us? ;)

 

Inner Monologue of a Bikram Yoga Class

“Evening everyone… “

Awwww, I was enjoying that rest, really?  5 more minutes…

“Deep breathing exercise, inhale through the nose, exhale through the nose, all the time through the throat”, I’ve heard this dialogue so many times I reckon I could take the class, what’s next. Breathing, right.

… Wow are my lungs really this big… fill up, more up…. Hold... exhale…… inhale……… exhale……

Wow, feeling better already, can I go if I’m feeling good now?

Parahastasna… what is with the names… Ok forward bend… really should not have had that ‘quite bite to eat’, think I might actually be seeing that again… Yip, little bit sick in my mouth… lovely. Keep smiling, look serious, don’t let anyone know…

Awkward pose, you got that one right.  I WILL get on my big toes, I will, I will… UP higher? are you kidding me,? 65kgs (give or take) is not going to balance on my big toe!

3^rd part, squeeze knees together, s-l-o-w-l-y come down to the count of 10, hole it an inch above your ankles, arrrggghhhh, pain…. Hold it….Quick teachers not looking, get those hips down and rest on your calves just for a second, damn, he caught me now he’s looking at me and telling me off, lost face, well all ego out the window now.

Water break. Just stare at self in mirror, try and keep focus, this is your time, no one else in the room matter, focus on breath, … Those girls leggings are great though I wonder where she got them… damn it!

Standing head to knee.  Should be called, standing on one leg.  Often this in itself is a challenge. Head to knee? Hmmm, highly unlikely this side of 40.

Standing on one leg, don’t fall out here, don’t fall out here, ankles give out, fall to side. Smile at yourself in mirror, let it go, do not get annoyed with yourself this will not help, repeat mantra to self until you believe it.  Ok… getting “straight back in”. Leg locked, thigh parallel to floor, hands in grip, don’t forget the grip, “When ready, kick out” – Come on Cath Lyden, kick, don’t wobble, keep focused, come on, hamstring, release, come on hamstring, why do you hate me? What have I ever done to you? Ohh, so your going to hold 20 years of pounding the streets running, excessive cycling and body building against me? Ohh, you are – Give up, foot back to it’s place enter child like strop. 

Other side. Whatever! Not doing anything.  Will just hold leg in grip and chill out for this one. Hmmm…this is nice… I wish life was as simple as this at times… ohh I’m balancing on one leg fine, no wobble… that’s never happened before… Wait, thigh you are parallel,  heel you are kicking out, hamstring, you are straight, what is this!?  Is this me or am I having an out of body experience? I am actually holding the posture beautifully! Enter stage right the little life lesson voice. Lesson #1 When you give up and let go, the thing you have been trying so hard to make happen, happens.

Smile.

Standing bow, my favourite. Come on this is your time to shine… ego be quiet, this is just about me and my own practice, focus, breath… but seriously, wait till you see how good this posture is…shhhhhhh…

Arm up, grab that foot from behind, hips square, knees together, deep breathe… Kick – Yeah! Feel that power from the leg kick that hand away, kick, kick, focus, breath, feeling the arch… wait, don’t try too hard you’ll fall out of it, back off, don’t try.  Keep that hip down! Reach forward, reach, there it is that beautiful standing bow, there it is… breathe, hold, keep kicking, smile congratulate yourself that there is at least one posture you don’t feel inadequate in.  Crap, fell out. Life lesson #2 don’t get complacent, when you think you’ve made it you’ll fall. Thanks God, cheers.

OK, other side, grab foot from behind, knees.. blah blah blah… I’m ready, kick…. There I am slowly, I’m getting there… I’m holding… no teacher do not go and help the newbie… nope don’t tell them to do back to the start of the posture, don’t hold us here longer than we have to… breath… kick… reach… Seriously, the newbie is never going to get the grip, concentrate on us and focus on them next time… DYING HERE!!!!  “ and change” – phew… made it. Now too knackered to do the second set.  Lesson #3 Don’t burn out – Seriously God, I get it.

Take a half turn to face the windows… Standing separate leg stretching, deep breath, one big step to your right.  Arms out, lock the knees, Spine straight, lead with the forehead rotate at the hips.  Should not have positioned my mat so near to the person in front, now practically got my face up their ass, don’t flinch, don’t let anyone see the awkwardness, just keep the head up, look like you are really trying to keep that arch in your back when really your just trying to avoid sniffing that mans butt. Go slowly so he gets to the ground first, at least it will look like you are just trying to really control your practice, that’s it loads of control and all about alignment, blag blag blag… why I’m being pretentious?  This is the one place I shouldn’t be. And come back out…

Savasana – BEST TIME!!!! WOOOooooo!!! Now THIS should be called Bikram party time.

Be still, focus on your breath, don’t move… no little bead of sweat I will not wipe you away, nope, I won’t, I am in control, you are not, nope, little bead of sweat dripping down into my eye burning my retina, I will not wipe you I will… Got you, you little git! Ha ha ha #fail. Lesson #4 although we should ignore the annoyances in our life, sometimes it’s good to give them a good back hander. Hmmmm, not sure that one was from God.

Second set of Wind removing. What?!?! Instructor got it wrong… or maybe… yip… I fell asleep during savasana.

Half Locust pose, Face down, arms under stomach, hips into mat, relax left leg, lift the right leg. Digestive system gurgles… NOoooooo Do not fart, do not fart, you can do this, hold it in.  “And release” - Farted.

MORTIFIED.  It’s ok, noone noticed… you are wearing the right gear, looking focused, haven’t flinched, noone will think it’s you, they will definitely think it’s that guy next to you… well in that case.. left leg up…

Floor Bow – hate this so much... what injury/illness can I concoct in my head which means I can sit this out with my integrity still in tact.. … come on brain you are usually brilliant at finding excuses.. come one… ohh right, now you let me down.. I’ll remember that…

Grab the feet just above the ankles, hips down, deep breath, kick…. Kick…. Seriously why won’t my knees actually move more than an inch off the floor? Come on, come on… More up “One day you’ll see your feet over your head” – WHAT?!?!?!?!? Feel like getting up, walking over the teacher and shouting – “go on then – You do it!” Will refrain.

Cannot even see myself in the mirror in front of me never mind feet over my head! Inadequate feeling gets overwhelming, Give up, sit next one out.  Lesson #5 It’s often not our physical capabilities that hold us back but our attitude towards progress and success. Go away annoying smug voice.

Last breathing exercise.  Sit up, face the mirror. Wow I look like crap. Mascara half way down face, red faced, hair sweaty, skin sweaty, where did that bulge of fat come from?  Quick, adjust clothing to hide it. How can anyone fancy this mess I see before me? Have sneaky look around class while should be focusing on self – We are all sweaty, all looking crappy, all got lumps and bumps, all trying to hide. And there is a fantastic element of vulnerability to it. Lesson #6 When all is wiped away, make up off, standing there in nothing more than our underwear we are just human beings, all the same, all getting by. And it’s fantastic. Accept,  Breath and rest… J

“Naked I came out of my mothers womb and naked I shall return” Job 1:21