Getting angry is positive (What you do with it might not be)
You all know about my health issues. I won’t bore you with
that… It’s been good to be on my arse for a few years, it’s from rock bottom that
we grow right? I learnt early on in my healing that love, acceptance, compassion
and forgiveness are all parts of healing. It has been excellent for me to do
yoga and learn the essence of love again. It’s been a good foundation to build
from.. But in the last few months I’ve seen a shift in my healing. Once we
detox and come back to basics it’s there that we start to build, and building
requires strength. And this is where I am at...
STRENGTH is one of my three words that I have spoken over
this year (fun and happiness are the other two!)
As a fitness fanatic I looked up the definition of strength
training – “The ability to withstand/resist an opposing force”. And this is what
this year is about in body and mind and spirit.
Physically I am cycling more and my amazing PT James is
helping me train for Ninja warrior!
Spiritually am I learning to resist temptation and the
negative accusations of the enemy
Mentally I am learning to hold my ground and not let my mind
get the better of me.
Emotionally, now this is where my challenge is. Having spent
a few years learning about loving others, kindness, compassion and letting
things go I am challenged with the – but when are those things detrimental to
my own health? When loving someone means being treated like crap because “that
person's broken too”, when kindness is letting someone else have their selfish
ways and not challenging them on it. When
compassion turns to sympathy and holding someone up when they should be
learning to do that for themselves. Where is the ‘balance’?
Today I am angry about a situation that has been bothering
me for a while. Since Jan I have been at yoga and trying to ‘let it go’. I’ve been trying to forgive and trying to see
things from the other person’s perspective, but today I didn’t go to yoga, I
got angry and let it out. (** Disclaimer - I was by myself and no one was
harmed in the making of this blog). I shouted and boxed and let out my frustrations
and anger. I voiced my grievance and shared the injustice of it all and it felt
goooooooddddd.
Afterwards I began to feel guilty about being so angry but then
challenged myself on it. Is it bad to get angry?
No
“IN your anger do not sin”. Jesus himself got angry and
threw tables around a market place. He was upset at the injustice of a situation
and used His anger to put it right.
Anger motivates us to take action.
My anger is my emotions way of saying – THIS IS NOT OKAY!
And it felt great to acknowledge it and stop making excuses for other people’s
behaviour. I’ve been wronged. And
usually I’d find all the reasons that this is MY fault, and today, I’ve done
something radical - I accepted that while I may have had a part to play in this injustice,
it isn’t all my fault. The other person was wrong. Blaming others is something I very rarely do, I'm too good at blaming myself. But today, I admitted, this person was in the wrong.
In my emotional strength training I am learning to listen to
my emotions and acknowledge them. This is the first step. Suppressing them, or trying to move onto
acceptance too soon can hinder or rush the process.
As humans we hate discomfort and we often try and move too
quickly through the healing process to ‘get better’ again. Today I accept that
I am angry. And while I do not want to
hold onto it, I acknowledge it’s part in telling me what is and is not okay,
and when the anger subsides, acceptance, forgiveness and love will come as they
should, but today, I accept that I am at the anger stage.
I am not condoning my actions in this place. My anger does
not make it okay to lash out at people and be horrible. My anger does not give
me a right to throw my weight around and dominate situations. But in order to
manage my anger well, I need to go to a quiet place, meet my anger, listen to
it and let it out in a healthy way.
Feeling angry is healthy, acknowledging early is what counts.
Lord, help me to acknowledge my anger before it catches up
with me and makes me erupt in front of the poor people who have to listen to it
and deal with it. Help me to be more
emotionally aware and take action to process the emotion. Forgive me when I act
out of anger and hurt those around me. With your help I can.
